My Surgeon's Hand

Surgeon’s hand on my shoulder
“You will need surgery”
Words said gently, were heavier than a boulder.
Storm now stirred, a tear clouds my gaze
What’s happening to me, I am in a daze.
It will be so painful! I may not wake up.
Get me thru this oh God!
I promise for all my past sins, I will make up.
Cloud of fear now gathering strength
It burst in my head
Its loud thunder drowning my trembling inner voice
Still mustering little courage I mumble "Do I have any choice?"

For your suffering, surgery is what will take its care
My eyes well up, throat goes dry, as the risks are laid bare.
Seeking some courage I gaze at my wife
Avoiding my gaze she lowers her eyes
I feel your pain too my dear, her heart cries
Thinking of your flesh being cut with a cold steel knife.

With the date of surgery stamped in my head
Clueless of my fate, I turn and toss in my bed.
Will I ever return to earning my daily bread?
Fear, Pain, Death are now my constant dread.

With nothing under my control, I feel restless.
I have never felt so vulnerable, so helpless.
My surgeon is experienced, deep as a well
You will be safe in his hands, so they tell
Wrong may still happen in system, so complex so bold
I am afraid and like Linus I need a blanket to hold
Bad may happen to me yet in my heart my surgeon is forgiven
I pray for his redemption for healing to all that he has given
Curled in a fetal position oh God! I seek your embrace
Caress me, hold me tight and bless me with your grace
I will need you there God, please make your stand
And watch over me thru my Surgeon's Hand.

LRoss Painting.jpg — "My Heart"

This poem is an expression of what I felt before undergoing my own major surgery in 2018. I have performed over 4,000 operations during my career, including performing open heart surgery on my own father. But this was my sole experience going under the knife, as the patient.
This image is a painting by Laverne Ross, an artist in Flint, Michigan. He painted this after I did his heart surgery over a decade ago. It represents the intertwining and integration of the physical chambers and blood vessels needed to stay alive, much like the emotions and love that we bring together to make a happy life.

My Surgeon's Hand

"My Heart"

This poem is an expression of what I felt before undergoing my own major surgery in 2018. I have performed over 4,000 operations during my career, including performing open heart surgery on my own father. But this was my sole experience going under the knife, as the patient.

Pursue The World

Crossroads